Gardi Comes Clean on Name Change

Y an I, Gardi?  What are you hiding?

With Nothing to Lose...I'll Come Clean!

- Naked Conch - Posted by Matt Gardi -  August 19, 2012

I found it amusing that what seemed to get the most attention from the public during my recent campaign for County Clerk was the fact I changed my name in 2005, from Gardy to Gardi.  As I explained to Gwen Filosa during an interview on the subject only a week before the election, my wife and I changed the spelling because we both preferred the true Italian spelling and we wanted to honor our Italian heritage.  My family had Americanized the name in the early 1900s after having immigrated to the States. Simeone became Simon, Saveria became Sarah, Maria became Mary, Vittorio became Victor, and yes, Gardi became Gardy.  Filosa's article ran five days before the election and can be found here.

Clearly the results of the election would indicate it didn't have an effect on the outcome, but what is most interesting is the number of people, including close friends who have made an issue out of it, insinuating that there is some deep, dark and sinister reason behind the name change.  I attribute that to Filosa's success at writing the article to create that impression, as she conveniently left out a few critical components of the story.  But admittedly, Filosa didn't know everything.

So to that end, I will now come clean and expose the full detail of how Gardy went back to Gardi...and let the chips fall where they may.


One critical component that Filosa omitted was the fact that my then girlfriend Lisa and I had moved to the Keys after having lived in Europe for two and a half years.  While we used the cover of the fact that we were working for the Army, and "worked" in Italy quite a bit, the reality is we were both re-establishing ties with the "Old World" family we shared across the pond.

The picture to the left shows a sinister meeting that was held high in the hills of Sicily in 2002.  It is rumored that this is where the plan to "conquer the Keys" originated. It was also during this time frame that ties were solidified between the old world and new world families by finding the mysterious link of my Great-Grandfather Simeone Gardi's birth certificate in the small village of Serrastretta, in Calabria.   Note also, that sometime between when this photo was taken and around the time of the name change, I began to conceal my identity by buzz cutting my luxurious mane of hair.

I provide for you a copy of my Great- Grandfather's birth certificate from the dusty book of records of the late 1800's maintained in the Serrastretta Clerk's office.  Of note is the blocked off information at the top, a rudementary form of redactment by the Italian officials to cover up some other sinister family's information.  Serrastretta's Clerk's office needs some modernization as well...but I digress.

After re-establishing ties to the old world families, Lisa and I moved to Key West.  Within a week of arriving, we purchased a little shop off Duval from another family of Italian origin, (who will remain unnamed for fear of reprisal) but it is well known that this other Italian "family" had already established itself using fronts such as making Key Lime Pie and Conch Fritters.

Regardless, Lisa and I opened "Gardi's Internet Cafe" renting from the infamous local Ed Swift.  Our commercial lease was under my name of Gardy at the time.  Even though Swift and crew do an extensive credit check, we fortunately avoided having our dastardly domination plan exposed.  We established the place (See photo right) with an Italian flair to differentiate ourselves from the numerous Cuban style coffee houses in the area.  Our business grew, and the community came to know us as...the Gardi's.  Our plan was working perfectly.

After having run the shop for a year,  unable to find decent staff at the time, we realized that working fourteen hour days to keep "the front" established was unproductive in our efforts to take control of the Keys.  We also realized to be more effective that we needed to establish ourselves as more of "a family."  So during Christmas of 2004, Lisa and I snuck off to visit the Vermont contingent of our families and after ten years of dating, we got married. Now mind you, we couldn't have a flamboyant affair so we did something a little less "attention grabbing."  But in an effort to be as forthcoming as possible, I provide for you a video that captured the event.

Around the same time frame, Lisa and I both established ourselves in government.  Lisa took a job at Gerald Adams Elementary School posing as a teacher, and I went to work for the Office of the State Attorney.  While I knew nothing at all about technology, I was able to absorb an immense amount of technical know how from then State Attorney Mark Kohl.</sarcasm>   Kohl, along with being an incredible attorney, is also a tech guru...just ask him.  Regardless, Kohl and his investigative staff conducted an extensive background check on a Matt Gardy, and I somehow slipped through the cracks.  My name to this day appears in the County phone system as "Gardy."

It was around this time that I began to worry that we were very close to being exposed, so my wife and I hatched the name change idea.  Not that she was about to change her maiden name anyway, and not that we were known in Key West as the Gardi's, and not that we both loved our Italian heritage, and not that we thought it a travesty that my family had to deny their culture and Americanize the name, and not that we both liked it better with an "i,"  but rather we needed to reduce the risk of exposing our deep dark sinister background.  Granted, we could have changed it to something like Chowsnophski, and claimed we were from Utah, but that would be too obvious... which ultimately may have proven to be our Achilles heel as the crackpot investigative reporter Filosa ultimately exposed.

In an even more sinister twist, we then used our connections in the Florida legislature and Supreme Court to make sure that it was mandated that ALL family law cases be sealed and unavailable on line.  This way it didn't appear as if it was just our case.  Filosa did a good job avoiding that fact by suggesting that it was simply me stating it was "common" in these types of cases.  Far be it from Filosa to actually check another source that might mar her insinuations...but again, I digress.

 In a final act of concealment, in the summer of 2005 we again jumped across the pond to Italy to continue our business dealings with the old world familia.  We even went so far as to have wedding rings made and engraved by a distant relative in Serrastretta.  He was from the Scalise side of the family though, more than likely tied in with the Gambinos as evidenced by his appearance in the photo to the right.  But it got better, the old world family in Serrastretta was so elated that our "business" plans were going so well, that they gave us a police escort through the entire community to the old family stead located in a village known as Angoli.

Below are some photos exposing the village and the welcome.  The crumbling house is the ancestral home of my Great Grandmother, Saveria Scalise, who married Simeone Gardi and immigrated to the States.

 But I would be remiss if I didn't expose Lisa's deep, dark, sinister side as well.  Her family was originally from Sicily, from a village called Castle Mola, (Photo right) high above the Mediterranean Sea.  Her family name was Parlatore, (Which I translate as "Big Talker.") and let me assure you, the translation is accurate.  We had the chance to meet with a notorious member of the Parlatore family in Castle Mola, whose Grandfather was brother to Lisa's Great Grandfather.

The rare photo to the left captured the meeting between the old world and the new.  Let me assure you, you can see by the grim expressions on their faces that they were none to happy to have this connection exposed.

So there you have it folks, the true story behind the name change from Gardy to Gardi.  Kudos to Gwen Filosa for uncovering most of this choice piece of campaign related detail.  It comforts me to know that we have here among us in the Keys, investigative reporters that will make the extra effort to Google a name, make a phone call and then consume precious column inches in the local daily newspaper days before an election with such an intense expose.