Key West City Buys $$ Quarter Million Dollars Worth of GRASS!

Clearly Someone is Smoking Something!
- Naked Conch - Posted by Matt Gardi -  Jan 4, 2012
I hate being late to a good party, seems like you always miss something.  But that is how I feel right now having recently found out that Key West just burned through a cool $236,000 placing new grass on City baseball and softball fields.  That's grass.  As in sod...stuff you step on.  To make matters worse, expensive sod requires lots of water to protect the investment.  Water is expensive, and something we are supposed to be trying to conserve.  Well watered expensive grass requires frequent mowing and meticulous care.

How did I miss the fact that we were suffering from such inadequate grass?  I missed the headline that read "Yet Another Ten Year Old Shortstop Tragically Loses Incisor to Bad Hop Caused by Dastardly Dandelion."  No, not one sane person can even try to give me the "it's all about the children" teary eyed speech over this one.  Not when we hear rhetoric at a recent City Commission meeting about trying to find creative ways to cover the over $6 Million dollars we owe to FEMA because of some other previous stooge type blunder by City leaders.

Naked Conch Hour Guest - Edwin "Bill" Grove Candidate for Sheriff - Friday January 6th at High Noon!

Reminder: This week's guest on the Naked Conch Hour on the KONK Broadcasting Network will be Edwin "Bill" Grove - Candidate for Monroe County Sheriff. 

Tune in this Friday, January 6 at noon!

http://www.konknet.com/

Scholl Resigns Effective in July

Key West City Manager Jim Scholl Announced This Evening That He Will Resign Effective in July.
Could pressures from Virginia Street gaff have been an inspiration?
Any chance Fernandez might offer us a TWO FOR ONE special?


We can only hope!

Walls No Longer Needed Around Gitmo

SLOPE GETS MORE SLIPPERY AS OBAMA SIGNS INDEFINITE DETENTION OF AMERICANS INTO LAW
- Naked Conch - Posted by Matt Gardi -  Jan 2, 2012
Who could have imagined Republican Senator John McCain joining forces with President Obama to pass legislation whereby our government can now detain any American anywhere without due process?

Well I guess I could have, as I have stated before that at a national level our two party system has joined forces to usurp the power of the people and to destroy any last vestiges of our Constitution.

Of note also is the fact that Republican Senator Rand Paul, and Independent Senator Bernie Sanders (arguably the most liberal Senator) joined forces standing with the 13 Senators in opposition of this tyrannical piece of legislation.

If you have no idea of the travesty of which I write, here is a great summation from blogger Mish Shedlock!  

Key West Assistant City Manager David Fernandez must be salivating!   

Yes Virginia, There is a Slippery Slope.

The TRUE meaning of Virginia Street
- Naked Conch - Posted by Matt Gardi -  Dec 31, 2011
So what is the real deal with the outcry over the Virginia Street wall fiasco that has gone on in Key West recently. This isn't about an ADA compliant sidewalk, nor is it about the destruction of the character of Key West.  It isn't about the waste of federal tax dollars we don’t have, and no, it’s not about the City sidestepping HARC and barreling through a project without their approval as any other peon would have had to have done.

Virginia Street is about an overbearing government that wants to oppress opposing opinions. Virginia Street is about free speech. Virginia Street is about what differentiates us from banana republics, and totalitarian regimes. It’s about cowboy government officials that want not only to silence, but want to penalize those residents that might not agree with them. For those that may have somehow missed this latest debacle of Keystone Cop City Officials at their best, here is a summary.

State Attorney Dennis Ward Not Inclined to Prosecute Virginia Street Wall Artists

WARD GETS A THUMBS UP!
- Naked Conch - Posted by Matt Gardi -  Dec 28, 2011


In a brief conversation today with State Attorney Dennis Ward, he stated that after reading initial news reports and reviewing Key West Police Department Incident Reports that the Office of the State Attorney did not currently have the inclination to prosecute those charged with painting the Virginia Street wall scheduled for demolition.

The charges, violations of state statutes that rise to the level needed for prosecution, were levied by Key West Police Department, apparently at the behest of City officials, against artist who expressed disdain at the wall's proposed demolition.  The wall, which had been built by the property owner on the City right-of-way decades ago, is questionably the property of the home owner when one considers the State of Florida's Adverse Possession laws.  It has not yet truly been determined which City officials orchestrated this "Nazi-esque" exhibition of government gone wild, but rest assured this is one shell Naked Conch plans to expose!

Ward expressed his reservation of wasting continued public resources on the issue, but will make a final determination in the short term after consulting Chief Assistant State Attorney Manny Madruga and Chief Investigator Mark Wilson.

Ward deserves a big thumbs up for this sentiment, and his defense of freedom of speech.

    

Key West the Newspaper Closes

As word spreads throughout the community that Key West the Newspaper has published it’s last print edition, let us use the final comment section on Key West the Newspaper's blog to offer our thoughts, and reflect on what a tremendous asset the publication (along with it’s editor Dennis Reeves Cooper) has been to our small island community.

Only Two School Board Members Accept Challenge to Take the FCAT

Griffiths and Dick accept the challenge. Smith-Martin and Martin duck it. Mathewson...offers confusing rhetoric regarding cursive writing.

- Naked Conch - Posted by Matt Gardi -  Dec 26, 2011

A few weeks ago on the Naked Conch blog I wrote about Orange County School Board member Rick Roach who took the FCAT and failed miserably.  This was featured in the Washington Post, as Rick Roach was an accomplished business professional with not only one, but two Masters Degrees, and has led a billion dollar corporation with over 22,000 employees.

The FCAT called him a failure, which makes you wonder, is this test a true measure of how our students can perform in real life?  Is this boondoggle of a standardized test in any way beneficial to our educational system?  This test by the way costs over a quarter of a billion dollars to administer annually.  Also a poll on the Naked Conch Blog is running three to one in a favor of dumping the test.

As Monroe County School Board Vice Chair Andy Griffiths was appearing on my weekly Friday KONK radio show, a listener posted on the Naked Conch blog that I should challenge Griffiths to take the FCAT.  Great idea, but I thought to myself... “if one is good, clearly five is better,” right?  At least that reasoning has been fairly successful with my beer intake.

Top Stories of Interest

Monroe County School Board Members Challenged - "Will You Take the FCAT?"

Put it in writing...please Mary.

School Board Member Fails FCAT
Readers Overwhelmingly Oppose Dredging Survey

Keys Courts Ignore Local Businesses on Sole Source Wireless Project
The Great Naked Conch Scavenger Hunt - Details

Who Ordered the Code Red?

Key West Selectively Enforces Laws to Oppress Freedom of Speech!
- Naked Conch - Posted by Matt Gardi -  Dec 22, 2011

The Citizen is reporting the tragedy of Key West City Officials painting over views expressed on a wall slated to be torn down to complete the silly project on Virginia Street...and giving out citations as Christmas presents!  (Read about it here in the Citizen)  This project is a waste of fiscal stimulus funds, a destruction of the character of Key West, and now we have this abuse!

National Association of Realtors Revise Ridiculous Numbers

It's all about the truth, folks.  Apparently the National Association of Realtors share the sentiment of Jack Nicholson in A Few Good Men, and think, "You can't handle the truth."

You see, after having misguided America for the last few years by masking the true decline in property values, (For what reason I can only imagine, but certainly not to sucker anyone into the idea that it is a "good time to buy" at an inflated value) these so called experts need to revise their numbers....DOWN BIGTIME. (Read about it here on CNNMoney and Fox Business News.)

Monroe County School Board Members Challenged - "Will You Take the FCAT?"

UPDATE 1: Rob Smith-Martin was the first to respond to the question - "Will you take the FCAT and publicize the results.  Within 14 minutes of my first email, Smith-Martin simply replied "FCAT is being phased-out."

Vice Chair Andy Griffiths replied, "Hey Matt, I'm in..."

One of those guys answered the question, the other would fail the FCAT if they answered simple questions with irrelevant answers.  Like: What color is the sky? "Seven."

No other replies as of yet.  

UPDATE 2: John Dick is in!
______________________________________________________
After a recent article in the Washington Post came out about how Orange County School Board Member Rick Roach failed the FCAT miserably, an online poll here at Naked Conch has illustrated that respondents favor dumping the Statewide test by a margin of 3 to 1.

While discussing the issue with School Board Vice Chair Andy Griffiths on the Naked Conch Radio Hour on KONK, a reader commented by suggesting we challenge Griffiths to take the FCAT.

I thought perhaps we could be equitable and challenge ALL of our School Board Members to take the FCAT.  In fact, if we can get all five to commit, I'll sharpen up a No. 2 pencil, break out the ol' slide rule and join 'em.

State Attorney Dennis Ward - Friday, Dec 16th on the Naked Conch Hour

This week's guest on the Naked Conch Hour on KONK Broadcasting Network, Monroe County State Attorney Dennis Ward. Tune in this Friday at noon!

http://www.konknet.com/

Put it in writing...please Mary.

      UPDATE: Per Sloan's request in comment section below, here is the entire email exchange.

Maybe I am a stickler. Maybe my expectations are unrealistic. Call me annoying...well OK many of you already do that, but that comes with the territory. I've often written, here on Naked Conch as well as in Key West the Newspaper about my pet peeve of expecting people I ask questions of, to respond in writing.

My latest frustration began after having attended a County Budget hearing in July.  In her budget overview, (See included video) Public Defender Rose Enright caught my attention by the fact that her budget was going up, while most other agencies had come in neutral or below the previous year.  Enright attributed the increase to an automatic rent increase built into her lease.

School Board Member Fails FCAT

Miserably.

Rick Roach, who is in his fourth term on the Board of Education in Orange County Florida, recently took the Florida 10th Grade FCAT and failed miserably.

Roach who has a bachelor of science degree, two masters degrees and 15 credits towards a doctorate also helps over see an organization of close to 22,000 employees with a budget of $3 Billion.

The original blog post in the Washington Post can be found here.

Columnist Valerie Strauss offered a followup here.

These columns speak for themselves, and echo my sentiment regarding the FCAT.  It's time we put an end to this 1/4 of a Billion Dollar annual fiasco, stop teaching for tests, and return to fully educating our kids.

Kudos to Rick Roach for taking the test and publicizing the results.

Feel free to offer your opinion below in the comment section, or add your vote to the poll below.

This week's guest on the Naked Conch Hour on KONK Broadcasting Network, Monroe County School Board Vice Chair, Andy Griffiths. Tune in Friday at noon!

http://www.konknet.com/

Homestead Exemption Joke Once Again

Once again we are hearing about an absolutely stupid debate about someone misusing the homestead exemption.  This time the Citizen reports that Ken Davis and his ex-wife Heidi Langraf allegedly put false information on the form qualifying for a homestead exemption.

And of course now the State Attorney's Office is wasting resources chasing after this infraction.

Farewell Danny Kolhage and Thank You

Some of the most exciting political news came to the forefront recently as Monroe County Clerk Danny Kolhage announced that he would not seek re-election in 2012. We owe Kolhage a debt of gratitude for his 29 years of service to Monroe County. Even with the numerous differences we may have, I will be the first one to suggest Kolhage ran a tight ship, albeit maybe too tight at times.

While his management style may have served us well decades ago, that very same style may have been his shortcoming as technological challenges changed his job role, and the office which he was charged to lead. While I offer him thanks for his years of service, I also am thankful for the opportunity his choice not to run provides Monroe County residents.

Whomever chooses to seek the office of County Clerk will have a lot on their plate should they be fortunate enough to win the election, and to that end, we have the opportunity to vet those candidates to ensure they have the awareness and capabilities to meet these challenges.

The office of County Clerk is a critical element to many of the operations within the county, and we as residents have to ensure that we don’t simply “pass the baton” to the most likable or well connected candidate. We have seen the success that is won with that approach in the school systems, and I frequently argue that similar “success” stories exist elsewhere. Therefore we must strive to look past the smile and the handshake, and do our due diligence as voters to ensure that we elect a capable individual that is ready to take on the challenges awaiting our next Clerk of the Courts.

Readers Overwhelmingly Oppose Dredging Survey

The results of our month long online poll are in, and while not scientific, they are clearly revealing.

After our Dredging for Dummies post we offered readers the opportunity to provide their opinion of the proposed study by participating in a poll that asked:

DO YOU SUPPORT KEY WEST PURSUING A $5.5 MILLION DOLLAR STUDY TO WIDEN THE HARBOR CHANNEL?

The results suggest that the vast majority of respondents are overwhelmingly opposed to the study as seen below.

Yes, by all means
  4 (5%)
Yes, so long as it does not cost the City anything
  8 (10%)
No
  61 (83%)

We hope this puts a nail in the coffin of that scattered brain idea once and for all.

Don't forget to look for more polls that pertain to local issues, and as well feel free to participate in our "Naked Conch Election Polls."

We Have A Winner!!

Congratulations to Sean Kinney who has unraveled the clues to the Great Naked Conch Scavenger Hunt!

Sean was able to masterfully deduce each clue, and found himself the proud owner of a new Naked Conch T-Shirt, two Naked Conch Koozies, and of course a crisp $100 bill. (Quickly deflating in value as the US Federal Reserve has chosen to water down our currency by bailing out European nations through the International Monetary Fund.)

But hey, you can't have everything, at least the Naked Conch gear is appreciating in value!  Sean is also a reporter for the Keynoter, and we at Naked Conch are excited to know that members of the local media rely on Naked Conch as a source for news, and truth.

So where was it?  Let's unravel the clues...

Clue one -

It's near one particular one!Jimmy Buffet has a tune called "One Particular Harbor," so it was near the Key West Harbor.

Clue two - 

There's a place that's the best, and it's northeast of west.

In the Harbor area, it was located Northeast of West.  Northeast of West Marine! 

Clue three -

Not up in a tower, or under a shell, a living attraction might serve you well.

Not in the Tower bar, or at the Half Shell, but at a living attraction. (living attraction = Live Bait).  Live Bait as in Live Bait Lounge located in Key West Bait and Tackle, where they serve you well by serving up some of the coldest beer in town.  With a great selection too! 

Clue Number Four-

Tourists amused by a face in a hole,

by a buoy from which the weather is told!

In front of Key West Bait and Tackle tourists can take photos of themselves by sticking their faces into a life size caricature, next to the famed weather buoy!

So now you must be warm, but where from here!

Clue Number Five -

A Person and a Password Play a Part in this Perplexing Puzzle

Looks like you are going to need to find someone and give them the password.  Hey, you think we were going to risk having a prized Naked Conch T-Shirt being accidentally found by some random person!  No way, we had this one guarded under the watchful eyes of one of the owners of Key West Bait and Tackle.

Clue Number Six -

Speak the truth to win the game

To a man who's not Elvis, but a King just the same.

So you have to speak the truth to someone who is a King.  This King was Chris King, who owns Key West Bait and Tackle with Joe Garr.  So all someone had to do, was speak the truth to Chris!  Literally!  "The Truth" was the password!

So Sean Kinney made his way in to Key West Bait and Tackle, tracked down Chris King, said "The Truth" to Chris and is now probably out on the town wearing his prized Naked Conch T-Shirt!

Please let us know if you enjoyed the Great Naked Conch Scavenger Hunt, and tell us all about your trials and tribulations you experienced trying to unravel the clues.  Email Matt Gardi at matt@nakedconch.com and let him know your thoughts!  Thanks one and all for trying, and keep your eyes open for the next event here on Naked Conch!

Naked Conch Announces New Weekly Show on KONK Broadcasting Network

Now we're talking!

Matt Gardi will be debuting his new talk show, The Naked Conch Hour, on KONK Broadcasting Network this Friday, Dec 2 at Noon.  The show will replicate Gardi's irreverent written style as he takes on government waste, covers local politics, and let's you hear from members of our Keys community.

The show will run every Friday at noon, and will feature Monroe County School District Chairman John Dick as it's inaugural guest.  With lots of exciting (and depressing) news coming out of the schools recently, Dick should provide some insight as to where we go from here.

Tune in from your desk, your couch, or your phone, but tune in. 

http://www.konknet.com/

Clue Number Seven of the Great Naked Conch Scavenger Hunt

Clue six provided everything you needed to win, but here is one more hint to help you on your way.  The J.R.R. Tolkien fans out there might enjoy it.

Gandalf and Froda entered the Gates of Moria by using a phrase like that included in clue six.